Nigerian Traditional Marriages

Marriage is seen as an important culture among the Nigerian people. A woman who is single at a marriageable age is seen as a crownless woman. Husbands are seen as crowns and a single lady is seen as incomplete without her crown. Another reason why marriage is seen as an essential practice is because Nigerians love and cherish children. Mothers are fond of pestering their children (bachelors and spinsters) to get married so that they can see their grand-children before going to their graves.

After the selection of a mate, both of them will visit their parents’ house for consent to continue the relationship and proceed with the marriage rites. The traditional marriage system is divided into two sections: Introduction and the Engagement Ceremony

Introduction

In Nigeria, proposing on one knee with a ring in hand does not count as a formal proposal. The groom has to go with his family and some friends (optional) to formally ask the bride's family for her hand in marriage. The groom and his family should never go empty handed as its a sign of disrespect, gifts usually carried include bottles of wine, hot drinks, palm wine and some tubers of yum. The groom's family states the purpose of their visit and if the bride to be is available, she is called in for her consent. If she agrees with the groom's proposal, their gifts are accepted and the groom is welcomed into the family. However, in some places, another meeting is set up for the groom and his family to formally ask the brides extended family and community for a hand in marriage. Once this is done, a list of requirements for the traditional marriage is given to the groom's family, the marriage process only takes place when the groom has gathered everything on the list.   

Bride price payment

There is always one or two women that coordinate the ceremony. They are known as the ‘Alaga Ijoko’ or “Olopa ijoko”. These women make sure all the engagement items are complete, they sanction anyone who violates rules (especially the groom). The groom enters the venue in company of his friends and prostrate many times depending on the instructions of the ‘Alaga Ijoko’. There is also the presence of the “Alaga Iduro” or “Olopa Iduro”, which is from the groom’ side. She has the responsibilities of assisting the groom, his friends and family members beg the bride’s family for their permission to give out their daughter. Both the Alagas are familiar with the tradition and they know what to do.

Bride price is been given in form of money in an envelope from the elders to the brides’ family members. The engagement items include tubers of yam, kolanuts, bitter cola, alligator pepper, bottles of honey,  dry fish, suitcase that is filled with clothes, bag of salt, bag of rice, vegetable oil, bag or cartons of sugar, sugar cane, palm wine, plate of “aadun”, pairs of shoes and bags, scarf,  wine, juice, umbrella, Holy Book (Bible or Qu’ran). The quantity of these items varies according to clans and family in Yoruba land.  The couple is  prayed for and joined by their parents and joined as husband and wife.

By: Ruvimbo Faith Chakanetsa

Image Sources
http://www.sugarweddings.com/section/weddings/traditional-weddings?page=2
http://seekersmatch.com/fashion/itemlist/user/820-dunsunny?start=10
http://pulse.ng/weddings/traditional-marriage-rites-how-its-done-in-igbo-land-id3447877.html