The language of love in the Zimbabwean Culture

Everyone desires to find that one and true love, that one person who truly understands you, completes you and cherish you. One can spend a lifetime seeking that missing part to complete them but when you finally find your one there is no doubt or question about it. The Zimbabwean culture, like every other culture, values the relationship that exists between two lovers. This value placed upon relationships then brings strict rules that are supposed to be followed by people who are seriously dating and considering marriage. Before a man can propose to his beloved, he introduces his partner to his family to seek their approval. After formal introductions are done, the woman takes his man to his aunt for formal introductions, this is done so that should the girl fall pregnant, her aunt will be fully aware of who will be responsible. During courtship, a man and woman are forbidden to live together under the same roof as this is regarded as a shame (kubika mapoto). When the man is fully convinced that he has found his better half and has received his families blessing, he can finally say those words that everyone woman dreams to hear, "will you marry me". The proposal has to be finalized by the man paying the bride price for the woman. The man informs his family about his intentions and a word is sent to the bride's family so that a date for traditional marriage negotiations (Lobola) is set.  The bride's family compiles a grocery list for the grooms family prior to the lobola negotiations. On the day of the negotiations, the groom's family's spokesperson (Munyayi) is supposed to bring a wooden plate where all the monetary charges will be put in.

Lobola Negotiations

Lobola negotiations are held at the bride's family. Before any negotiations can take place the groom's spokesperson pays a small amount to start off the negotiations (Vhura muromo). With the  initial amount to kickstart negotiations paid, several charges follow and these include gifts for the father, gifts for the mother, and several charges for the bride's aunt, her siblings and the bride herself. The actual fee charged for the bride is called Rusambo and this amount can vary from $500 to $10 000usd. After the main lobola fee is paid the groom's family has to give Cattle (Danga) to the brides family and these range between 6 to 10 cows and the most important one is the one for the mother known as "Mombe Yeumai. When all the required payments are done the grooms family is welcomed into the family and the after party and wedding preparations can begin.

By: Ruvimbo Faith Chakanetsa

Image sources
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